My name is Mahapurush...

This story is of that day when i saw her in the chemistry lab. She was beautiful,she was lovely, she smiled and l i dropped the test tube. The lab attendant appeared from nowhere and said ,” Ennada! Rs 400 fine ra.” He glared at me, i stared at the test tube trying to fathom which part of it was in gold or platinum to make it worth 400 bucks. Unable to understand this just like the topics in my syllabus,i quickly shifted to the topic i am good at-“oglology”. I stared and stared until the girl hid behind her table. I AM NOT A QUITTER..i started staring at her shoes beneath the table. I smiled at my persistence while she and her friends gave me nasty looks.
“DESPO”!!! The world measures the time period in B.C and A.D. That day, a new division was created for me- Pre Despo and post Despo. I stopped looking at girls (even at those girls who are fat and buffalo-like and those who are ultra thin and man-like). Wherever i went, the tag of being a despo followed. Ya Khuda! Is it a crime to admire your creations without any evil intentions? Don’t girls stare at handsome heroes?? Are they called despo? Then why me?? Just because I am a GUY doesn’t make me a Despo. In the UnHoly Book Of Love,Ch 2 verse 69 its clearly written-“ Thou shall look at all beautiful damsels as thy looketh butterflies-with passion, love and desire to hold.” Then why do people misinterpret the teachings? Why is a whole sex being targeted for the wrongdoings of a few rathores and khans? My friends have deserted me. Few of them have been spat upon and beaten up by self proclaimed ugly brothers of beautiful girls.They say this happened because I am their friend. I can’t bear this.I want to talk about it to the president sahib(President of Playboy). I want to tell him-“ MY NAME IS MAHAPURUSH..AND I AM NOT A DESPO.”..

SO CHEAP!!

"God! These guys you know?How cheap they are!Saale aise dekhte hai jaise kabhi ladki dekhi hi nahi!Why do they have to stare everytime?I feel like being x-rayed."
My gutter...i mean utter symapthy to the tortured,tormented and scanned beauty queens.
What wrong have they committed?agreed,most of them who indulge in this kind of outburst wear "innovative" kind of drapes(read dresses).But isn't that what's gender equality is all about?
Guys! don't we go to canteen in shorts? Have the girls ever stared at you unless you bumped your head in a pillar while daydreaming about one of them? Agreed their shorts are shorter than ours.This surely isn't an excuse for giving those Shakti Kapoor type of expressions! And what is with that mouth opening wide open everytime your dreamgirl passes by?Don't you know about the millions of microbes floating in the atmosphere? Stop staring yar!And if you can't ,atleast start wearing dark glasses.They make you look uber cool and rich unless you are a Tushaar kapoor lookalike.

But ladies,i have a small doubt. Is Chennai too hot to keep the shorts a little long? ;)

They think of CAT..we dream of Kat...

After watching ‘AVATAR’,I feel one with the N’avi people.Poor souls..they lived in harmony with nature,infact loved it to the extent that their communication with trees and animals involved “insertion” of their tentacles into that of the trees(creepy..ehh).
Its almost the same with us-THE LOSERS,THE “NOT” 9 POINTERS,THE INELLIGIBLES.Sure we don’t have tentacles,but we do love nature and her creations.
While they-THE WINNERS,THE 9 POINTERS,THE ELLIGIBLES eat and sleep C,C++(wonder if their obsession with “+ve” will make them happy with an HIV+ve score too!), we are busy admiring wonderful specimens of the Holly(wood) father.
They think of CAT,we dream of Kat. They study JAVA..We case study at JAVA GREEN.
They are the blue-eyed cynosure of the department..we are toh like that only. We are the perennial chips munchers between the lectures.They are the answers that confuse the lecturers.
They launch satellites,we launch rockets from the 7th floor. But but Butt..err read the 3rd butt as but..WE THE LOSERS ARE LIKE THIS ONLY. Unnatural things like GPA card,scholarships and mundane lectures are anything butt exciting for us.How can a normal gut with no gay tendencies get excited by few 9’s in a piece of paper?
We are Yogis. Unaware of the distractions around us,we concentrate on girls in same way as Adam concentrated on Eve. Thanks to us,beauty parlors are having a great run transforming “jassi’s” into “jenny’s”.
Without us,the world would be such an alien land...Thank Us!

Beauty lies in the LIES of beholder..

Awesome pic sweety! U lukin cute :) Hey!u have grown sooo slim! Nice dress!
Thanks dear *blush* *blush*.
Sounds familiar? Then you must be the latest victim of "Facebook Lies".
The girl uploads any silly picture on The "Social Notworking Site"(If you are on FB,you are surely not working) and a flood of comments follow.No matter how scary the photo is,3 types of people are sure to LIKE and Comment on it.They are:
a)Guys who find every strange looking girl beautiful.
b)Girls who are equally queer in appearance and nature.
c)Jobless bloggers like me who just want to laugh on such SODpanthi(Self Obsessive Disorder).

Its all lies,white lies,black lies,fluorescent and magenta lies.
But tell it to the girl in question(whose "Beauty" no one dare question) and she will blast you and brand you as a loser who is jealous because she didn't accept his proposal(The only proposal he might have ever put forward was "Can we split the expenses equally"?)

Some people might actually like to live in their blissful "Pandora" where no one speaks the truth.But the truth is "Beauty lies in the LIES of beholder..".

GUYS HAVE BIGGER HEARTS THAN GIRLS

It's 4 pm and i am sipping lemon juice(that's the cheapest one i could find in our juice corner).The canteen area is brimming with boys,girls and few girls who like like boys n vice-versa.Suddenly a realisation dawns upon me-GUYS HAVE BIGGER HEARTS COMPARED TO GIRLS(no offence to the fairer sex which has always been unfair to boys).

I saw boys of all types admiring girls of all types(even those whose type is undefined).beautiful ladies,everyone stares at them(oogle is a dirty n cheap word,so i won't use it..or did i just use it!).Even those girls who looked straight out of a chemotherapy session could find a few admirers(again..refrain from using words like ooglers).That's guys for u..large hearted(& ususally empty pocketed like me).

But i couldnt see the girls showing this magnanimity.Only those boys who had wasted a portion of their precious life sweating out in gym to get"biscuits" in their abdomen(I still wonder why don't they simply buy it from groccery shop instead of wasting time in a gym where females aren't permitted..height of discrimination!) found a few oogles from girls(ya right..they were OOGLING).
A few boys who wear a shirt over three t-shirts to get "instant biceps" were able to fool a few girls.
The remaining majority of us who treat gym as "nark ka darwaza" and wearing 3 shirts as blasphemy are left in the lurch.With all the great talent to spot beauty in the canteens instantly that boys have,it's heart-wrenching that girls can't be as generous as boys.

I salute the selfless nature of GUYS!

3 Idiots-The best Gay movie ever

Stand aside Brokeback Mountain..3 idiots has arrived!
Hollywood,with all it’s“open culture” ranting has been told loud and clear by our very own Bollywood that “Rishte mein toh hum tohar Paa lagte hai”.
All those who have seen angrezi films with a gay overtone(no!not the naughty America stuff) will swear by their “tohfas” that 3 idiots beats them with a large margin.
Never before has any movie been able to show guys telling to other guys” jahapanah..tohfa kubul kijiye!”.In theatre,i could see some “special” kinda boys clinging and hiding in their boyfriend’s arms whenever this scene came on screen.It gave rise to mixed emotions inside my heart.On one hand i was happy to see more n more guys turning gay.this means less competition for not-so-adventurous guys like us who still are of “purane khayalat” and like girls.On the other hand i was terrified thinking what if such guys appear in our hostels and start offering their tohfas!!
It’s high time two or more guys are not made to share the same room. Some “tohfas” are better left under wraps..

DIVIDED WE GREW...UNITED IN LOO....

Religions: Hindus,Muslims,etc etc
Castes: harijan,bahujan,bhajan,durjan,etc
Classes: slumdog,bulldog,me,etc
Look around u people.So many divisions among the HOMOS(homo sapiens).
And i haven’t even started with the linguistic, chauvinistic, funtastic states of our country.
But there’s one thing that unites us all.it’s the omnipresent,ultra essential,utterly comforting,enchantingly engrossing LOO.
Be it the rich or the poor,capitalist or communist,everyone visits the loo religiously.even the most constipated mortals try out their “rotten” luck at this “equaliser of all beings”.
This is one place where from the stiff upper lipped Victorian to the “loose character” serial kisser shed all their “burden” without inhibitions.
It is at this great place that we all clear our minds and tummies of all that is waste(SAB MOH MAYA HAI BHAI). So,the next time you step in this “blissdom”,spare a few moments to realise and acknowledge that no matter how many reasons we find to segregate & fight each other,THE ULTIMATE TRUTH ,the FINAL FrONTIER is nothing but a PIECE OF CRAP.
:Mahapurush mahatma.